So so.
Nothing more than the realization of an assumed ideology projected onto a false hope.
Basically: you're a dick and you suck.
Oh, and thanks for wasting my time. That was sweet.
Looking back, it's easy to see the mistakes and blind spots I lead myself to believe were infinitesimal. They were smoothed over w/ pretty words and carefully placed apologies, excuses and other weapons you brought out only when in dire need.
I should have hated you right away.
I think I did, so much so that the only way to express it was complete and total adoration.
You suck.
And yet, in some small, non accredited way I am grateful for you.
Because of you, I know where I stand and what I can handle.
Because of you, I can speak up. I have found my voice.
Because of you, I can more easily recognize despicable and am more apt to guard against it.
So thanks.
For everything: making me smile way back when, the butterfly feeling, the awareness, for generally sucking at life and everything decent.
I owe you.
Wait. No. No, I don't.
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