I Don't Know if I Can Yell Any Louder

A failure is not always a mistake, it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.

B. F. Skinner



This is nothing I expected.

Had I known, I would have prepared myself for the worst.

But this is just not normal.

I'm pretty sure that two people in our situation should be spending less time miserable than the two of us do.

I'm quite certain, that joy instead of dread should be washing over me when I think of returning.

But that's not what happens.

Not for either of us.

Everyday is a war:

A sick, twisted contest to see who can hit the hardest, who can hold out the longest, and which words hurt the most.

If you lose, you're a loser.

And if you win, you're an asshole.

The amount of distrust present is suffocating.

I can't move w/o thinking about what move I am to be countering.

Avoidance has become polite,

and touch is a daily reminder that you are not enough.

This is not what I want for my life.

This is not what I want for his, either.

I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

We're in this giant hole that we can't get out of.

And the worst part about it, is we're in it together.

How did this get to be such a mess?

And how do you clean it up?