I have NO idea what I want.
Scratch that. What I want is to just once, be selfish and think of only me and do what I need done to be happy. But of course, it doesn't work like that. There are so many other factors in this situation that I have to factor in.
Luke. Family. What's best for everyone else but me.
I don't even know if I want out or not. I'm so sick to fucking death of this constant up and down battle we seem to be stuck in. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but it should NEVER be this hard. There's no way this is normal. Or healthy.
We're fucked up.
I can't go through this all the damn time. What is it that is so wrong w/ me that he has to break me down to this point?? I hate this. This is not where I want to be. And if it wasn't for my amazing son, it wouldn't be. But I would go through hell and back for him. I guess this is the entrance test.
Scratch that. What I want is to just once, be selfish and think of only me and do what I need done to be happy. But of course, it doesn't work like that. There are so many other factors in this situation that I have to factor in.
Luke. Family. What's best for everyone else but me.
I don't even know if I want out or not. I'm so sick to fucking death of this constant up and down battle we seem to be stuck in. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but it should NEVER be this hard. There's no way this is normal. Or healthy.
We're fucked up.
I can't go through this all the damn time. What is it that is so wrong w/ me that he has to break me down to this point?? I hate this. This is not where I want to be. And if it wasn't for my amazing son, it wouldn't be. But I would go through hell and back for him. I guess this is the entrance test.
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